Mirror Challenge: Developing the Habit of Self Love

Month: 12 / Week: 1

Can you believe we’re on the final habit? This month, it’s all about developing the habit of self love.

Some may argue this should be the first habit. I chose to make it the last because it is the most difficult and something all of us could continue to work on. While true for the other habits as well, self love may just be the most important. When we’re self critical, we’re more likely to see the faults and the failures in working toward a goal. With self compassion, we can actually implement and confront change better than without it.  In completing this habit, it may be wise to revisit some of the other habits as well. I bet you’ll see the habit with a different eye, be less critical, and have more power and ability to reach your goals. 

Now let’s get to the challenge for this month by starting with a definition.

{Self-love} : regard for one’s own well-being and happiness

MirrorSeems simple enough. But how can we achieve it?

In my opinion, the biggest issue we face is negative self talk. We need to stop the negative self talk. We do it enough our own and then the media perpetuates this irritating voice in our head. It tells us we’re not good enough and need to be prettier, fitter, stronger, [insert your own adjective here]…  We’re made to feel like we fall short of an imagined ideal. A “perfect” ideal. We forget that we’re ALL doing this, even those men and women we’re striving to “be like”.

We always want what we don’t have. What we have is never good enough.

Well I’m here to tell you to stop it.

It’s time to redefine what beautiful means. Not what society wants you to think it is.

Find the message you want for yourself. Don’t let your inner critic create it for you. That critic is coming from the same mind you control. Yes, you DO have control over your thoughts. You may not have control over what thoughts come to mind but you do have control for how you respond to that thought. When that negative self talk begins, you can choose to say no, that isn’t true. Or, no, I don’t want to believe that. Instead, replace it with a positive thought. First, you may have to tell yourself what  you want to believe. Eventually, you’ll progress to “this IS what I believe”.

Any time that negative self talk happens, stop and ask yourself:

Would I say this to a friend? Would I say this to a family member? Would I say this to someone I love and care about?

If you wouldn’t then take it back. Apologize to yourself. Tell yourself you didn’t mean it. Treat that voice like someone you love. Not like someone who critiques you.

Think you can do that? Getting into this habit will change your life. It did for me.

CHALLENGE: Every time you look into a mirror this week, say something positive about yourself. Give yourself a compliment. It can be something specific (“I love my smile” or something more general “I am beautiful”). We tend to focus on what’s wrong when we look in the mirror. Let’s focus on what’s right this week.

New to the healthy habits challenge ? Start here.

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